Created Metaphors

Strong Innards

Joe has just made an amazingly strong post about his innards.

I believe strength like that works wonders.

Bring Cowpat

There is something wrong with sending a text that says: "Reminder: Possession tonight. Bring cowpat."

I like the little bits of randomness in my life.

Give Away

After four months of driving around with all the components for a mangonel in my boot I have finally given it to the right people.

That and some strawberry vodka.

And the Bog has now been disposed of as well. Phew.

In exchange I experienced a healthy dose of white chocolate vodka (with baileys-top) and was pleasantly subjected to conversations about pirates and zombies.

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Where's the Joh?

Here's the Joh!

(Thanks Ed)

Party Done

The Party seemed to go well.*

Pirate Pinatas are fun (even if not home-made as originally planned).

As are Moam Stripes and Pirate Tattoos.

And songs about Nelson.

Tom's photos are up. Mine should follow in a while (within a week or so. Hopefully).

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* As did the clearing up afterwards (apart from swamp-carpet-land).

My thoughts are with you

Rob

Key to the Kingdom

There is nothing so nice as being given a real gift. A gift as real as a basket of flowers...

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When some people give directions they sound like a bored teacher reading names from a register: take the third left, go straight for two hundred yards then turn right.

Other people, it's a performance. I asked this guy in Pennsylvania the best route back to my hotel. When he said I should start by turning right where the old MacReady house was, before they tore it down, I knew it would be something different. He took fifteen minutes to tell me, mixing geography, history and even a recipe. He let me go and I stopped to look at so many things he'd described that my journey took twice as long as it should.

The worst directions came from a stranger. They rang my door bell and when I opened the door, handed me a key.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's the key to the kingdom. There's a city, you see, and in that city is a district."

"Which city?"

"Hush!" they ordered. "In that district is a street, and off that street is a narrow lane. Along that lane is a yard; you'll see it, the gate is broken. In the yard is a house, and inside the house waits a room. Inside the room are flowers."

"Where's the city? How do I know what street you're talking about?"

They were at the end of the path now, standing at the gate, when they stopped. "The room is waiting: it's not like you have a choice. But keep the key. You'll be glad you did."

Urban Film Menace

Last night i got paid in diet Mountain Dew to watch a film so bad it almost beat Sleepaway Camp for sheer pain.

Good night that.

Lessons Learned

Yesterday I learned the following:

1) Combining Car Boots with an Air Show isn't a bad way to spend a morning, but getting up early for them is still no fun

2) The Spot the Shakepearean Play card by Simon Drew is not quite as hard

3) Cleaning cars isn't so bad

4) Waxing cars is knackering

5) After seaching in both directions* for a good beach to swim on, it turns out Hove Beach is the winner

6) My face still glows red from too much sun. I still should not go out without my factor 50 on

7) Pink milk is the difference between being full and being stuffed

8) The Bali Brasserie still has great food, bad decor and cutlery that *wants* to stick to your forehead (despite being clean)

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* Cuckmere Haven has too many sharp rock pools (and flying ants), and West Beach by Littlehampton is lovely and sandy but just too darned flat.

Lessons Tonight

Tonight I learned the following:

1) Table Football is not my game (unlike Kiro)

2) The Spot the Film card by Simon Drew is suprisingly hard

3) MSN can be fun even when you are right next to the people you are talking to

4) Sleep is important when about to do a car boot

5) Drink is distracting

Pirate Anniversary

The second anniversary of the terrible three's pirate flash mob has reignited my enthusiasm for blogging again after the 'great crash'.

Let there be life to this domain.